<TWL> The War Legends

A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO TORONTO , WHEN A BLONDE IN
ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP, AND
MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN.

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS, AND ASKS
TO SEE HER TICKET.

SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY
CLASS, AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK.

THE BLONDE REPLIES, 'I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M
GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE.'

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS
THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO
SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY AND WON'T
MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.

THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO
EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE WILL
HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT.

THE BLONDE REPLIES, 'I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M
GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE.'

THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD
HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND, TO ARREST THIS
BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON.

THE PILOT SAYS, 'YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL
HANDLE THIS, I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. **I SPEAK BLONDE.'

HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR,
AND SHE SAYS, 'OH, I'M SORRY.' AND GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO
HER SEAT IN ECONOMY..

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND
ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO
MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS.

'I TOLD HER, First Class isn't Going To Toronto.

lmao that is a good

LOL WELL DONE .........................................................VERY FUNNY

More Paul more must have more blonde jokes. That was a good one pauly. I will be waiting for more and they must be good ones.

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?" The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes. The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?" The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde started laughing. This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield. This time the blonde laughed even harder. Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car. The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny. The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

next

The blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for glasses. The doctor directed her to read various letters with the left eye while covering the right eye. The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was which that the eye doctor in disgust took a paper sack with a hole to see through, and put it on her head to cover up the appropriate eye and asked her to read the letters. As he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down her face. "Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to get upset about getting glasses." "I know," agreed the blonde, "But I kind of had my heart set on wire frames."

next

A blonde was driving home and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to the repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde and decided to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard and all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tail pipe. Nothing happened. She blew a little harder and still nothing happened. Her roommate, also a blonde came home and said, "What are you doing?" The blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow in the tailpipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. Her blonde roommate rolled her eyes and said, " Duh! Helloooo .....You need to roll up the windows first!"

<center> Paul...the next George Carland <center>

I love them Paul vey nice. If you got more bring them to the table and share as many as you wish.

How do you know if a blonde has been using your computer???


You will find "White Out" on the screen!!!!!!!!

LOL!! very funny Paul.

what do ya call two blondes in the front seat of a car? driver and passenger side "airbags"

what do blondes say after sex?.. you boys all from the same team?

what do ya call 100 blondes in a deepfreeze?..... frosted flakes

why the blonde get fired from the "M and M" factory?..she kept throwing out the W's

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like Hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.

Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?"
A: The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"


A blonde, a red head, and a brunette were having a breast stroke swimming contest to see who the better swimmer was. It was a 5 mile race.
At the finish, the red head came first, then the brunette, and finally, after two hours of waiting, the blonde arrived. The red head and the brunette asked what had taken her so long. She replied, "Well, I don't want to be picky or anything, but, I think you two were using you're hands!"

A blonde a brunette and a redhead escape from jail. The brunette hides in a dog house, the redhead hides behind a scratching post, and the blonde hides in a sack of potatoes.The police knock on the dog house and the brunette goes "woof woof," so they move on. The police knock on the scratching post and the redhead says "meow meow," so they move on. When the police knock on the bag of potatoes, the blonde says "potatoes!"


The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.
"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.
Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin,
"For best results, put on two coats".


Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.
First Blonde:
"I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Second Blonde:
Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!


Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.
The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said,
"I think they could be bird tracks."
The second blonde went to look and said,
"No, I think these are deer tracks."
They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!

A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling,
"You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"


Thats all for now...game time.

Paul, great jokes

So, how many blondes are there in New Zealand? just curious

Yes we do have our share of blonds here.And yes they do have more fun (well the ones i went out with).I find them good for a bit of entertainment but unfortunatly the ones i always met were true blonds and all the jokes really fit in place with them.
I am not saying all blonds are like that so this is not a blond bashing thread.Apparantly drifter,viper,uber,peas,gas,hloudowig,silo,schutz,jimmy and ouch are all blond and i in no way mean to insult any of them....Well not much.